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Recreating The "Elvis Sandwich"

(Click here to jump to the recommended song, Unchained Melody as performed by Elvis Presley!) It's Elvis Week, that seven-day slice of time so named for being the anniversary week of Elvis Presley's death. Everybody knows how much the guy liked fried peanut butter-banana sandwiches, but there was another, more interesting sandwich with stranger lore behind it: The Fool's Gold Loaf. The Fool's Gold Loaf I made.   Some people call it "The Elvis Sandwich," as if it's his signature sandwich that absolutely everyone knows about INSTEAD of the peanut-butter banana... I digress. The legend goes that on February 1st, 1976, Elvis and a couple of his cop friends were reminiscing over an absolute madlad creation from Denver, Colorado. It was crafted by a bakery called the Colorado Mining Company- the Fool's Gold Loaf. An entire loaf of French bread with a jar of jelly, a jar of peanut butter and a pound of bacon inside. The outside was slathered in two tablespoo...

The Quest for the Biggy Iggy! (Part One)

(Click here to jump to the recommended song, the Sam and Max Office Theme by Jared Emerson-Johnson!) I leaned back in my chair with my feet on my desk and my fedora over my face. I was contemplating the disappearance of someone well-known in his neck of the woods. Went by the name of Biggy Iggy.  He was the face of a line of ice cream sandwiches, a big hit in Massachusetts and Vermont. He was a big fella with a big smile, great hair and a winning personality.  He was often seen with his kooky partner in crime, Chewy Louie, but for some unknown reason the two of them vanished. Just disappeared off the face of the earth. No goodbyes- and the craziest part was, no one seemed to notice. I saw a picture of Iggy once, on a wrapper to one of his fine products. Found it on the side of the road in ‘17 or ‘18. But I threw it away when I got home. Never saw it again. It was a shame. Something about him really clicked with me. Maybe it was his old-school style. Woulda liked to meet the gu...

Coconut Cake AND Coffee! "Stitch's" Tiramisu

(Click here to jump to the recommended song, Burning Love as performed by Wynonna Judd!) It's June 26th, which means it's time to celebrate the best and cutest long-eared, beady-eyed Disney alien: Stitch! If you don't know, Stitch was one of the main characters in Lilo and Stitch. He was the 626th experiment by the mad alien scientist Jumba Jookiba, specifically designed for evil. In the movie, Stitch steals a spaceship and crash-lands in Hawaii, where he meets Lilo. As Stitch learns about Earth and becomes a "model citizen", he and his new friend bond over Elvis songs and their difficulty to fit in. Sounds like my kinda people.   Where'd he get that suit? I want one.   Here's why I decided on coconut tiramisu: in  Stitch! The Movie,  the third movie in the franchise, Lilo asks Stitch if he had coffee that morning because he was being hyperactive. He says he had "Coconut cake and  coffee!" I realized if I combined those two, I'd have a coconu...

Chocolate Milk: Shaken Not Stirred Edition

(Click here to jump to the recommended song, International Super Spy as performed by FoolishFrankie!) The Backyardigans was an animated show on Nick Jr. that aired from October 11, 2004 to July 12, 2013. It starred five brightly-colored anthropomorphic animal characters, presumably between the ages of 5 and 7, using their imaginations to go on all kinds of crazy adventures. The series focused heavily on music, featuring four musical numbers per episode. The songs have recently gained popularity on the Internet due to their impeccable flavor, or something like that. Don't feel bad if you're just hearing about this now, because I myself usually miss these types of things. International Super Spy is one of the most popular Backyardigans songs right now, and my brother and I just watched the two-part special the song was in. Stop reading and watch the episode now if you don't want spoilers. If you don't care, can you lend me some of your marbles? I lost all of mine. S...

Making Fun of Aldi Brands (Filler)

(Click here to jump to the recommended song, Floral Shoppe by Macintosh Plus! No, seriously!) I am openly admitting that this is a filler article. Picture a Benjamin Button-type scenario except instead of aging you have running out of ideas. That's basically me. Instead of running out of ideas over time, I'm starting out with filler material and waiting until I can finally get to the good stuff. If you're familiar with Aldi, you'll know it as a very cheap grocery store chain with a LOT of store brands- which I'm pretty sure is how they're so cheap. I find many of the names of these brands pretty stupid, and since they're technically food related I thought making fun of them would be acceptable blog material. DISCLAIMER: This is a joke article. Don't take it too seriously.  MOSER ROTH/CHOCEUR Why does Aldi have two brands of chocolate? My guess is the company wanted to distinguish between their crappy chocolate and their good one. These are Choceur and ...

DIY Birch Beer

(Click here to jump to the recommended song, An American Trilogy as performed by Elvis Presley!) Monday is Memorial Day, and what's more patriotic than making a beverage for your cookout using an ingredient from your own backyard? If you're a New Englander like me, you may have seen bottles of birch beer in restaurant fridges or even at your local grocery store. If you've never tasted it, it has a delighful wintergreen taste that slightly resembles root beer. I myself have drunk storebought versions and made my own for years! Now it's time to show you how. NOTE: This recipe takes HOURS to make, so you may want to do this on a day off... maybe Sunday!   Also, this is a non-alcoholic recipe. If you're looking for a fermented birch beer, there are plenty of other tutorials for that on equally rebellious blogs. ;) I may make such a tutorial myself once I'm of age. YOU WILL NEED: - Sharp, straight-edged knife - Mixing Bowl - Pot/Saucepan - Hella birch twigs - Sugar ...